It's been days since I last updated. I've been MIA-ing for the past few days, missed 2 exams, disappeared even from msn. 6 days of restless nights and days, unable to slp properly. It's kinda sad when u see ur loved ones leave just like that. I rmb it was just Tuesday morning when it all began the last journey. She was hospitalised while I was having exam. Then went straight to the hospital to check on her. She had so many tubes connected and looks so painful. But nevetheless, she fought on hard and even reminded me to go to slp early since exam period lol.
But the next few days, her health detoriated, not even being able to speak, while drifting into subconcious frequently. She kept groaning of pain and breathing difficulties, we had news her days r numbered. Finally on Friday afternoon 12.29pm, her breathing stopped, technically brain dead but heart still beating. Fortunately the whole family was there to send her off at her last moment. Of cos everyone was sad and grieving, but we should be happy too, cos her departure, was a painless and quiet one.
We spent the next 3 days until sunday at her wake. Seeing many old relatives and friends. Unexpectedly, 2 of my very best and old friends came - Dong Dong and ZhiMin. I didn't tell them abt my mom, but it was God's will which sent them here. Mom always wanted me to believe in God agn, restoring my faith in him. And for this purpose and my last promise to her, I will return back to God, and put my faith in him once agn.
Finally on Sunday, after 6 days of tears and saddness, we sent her to the cremetorium. Watching her leave physically was the most painful thing ever experienced. But we knew finally she has gone back to heavens. She had feared injections, medications and the after-effects of it. 5 years she has been battling with Cancer, and on 5 dec 2008, she finally was able to rest in peace.
Yes I still may be sad over her death, but still life goes on, and I noe my mom wun wan to see me like this. Our family realised the importance of kinship and family bonding even more now, and we promise that even after ur gone, we will still gather and have a family dinner occassionally. Now coming home is a weird thing. I'm used to seeing my mother sitting in the living rm, either playing her PSP or watching TV. But now somehow it feels weird calling "mom" yet no one answers. I used to resent ur nagging and overconcern, but now I crave for it more than anything else. I missed ur cooking, ur laughter and most of all, ur presence. Lastly I just wanna say no matter how much I screamed at u, do bad stuff or rebel, I just wish u would forgive me and I love u always regardless and till the day we meet agn, take care mom.
P.S Dong Dong didn't change much since the last time I saw him, but Zhi Min is absolutely stunning now. Lol....