Sry had been busy with projects and assignments. Didn't had time to blog. Well exams have alrdy began, with Management Organizational Behavioral and Critical Reasoning Skills. I guess I didn't do as well as I could have. There r so many things going on now that I dun even noe wat to do abt anything. I had spent 17 years without a Valentine date. This year I thought it could be different. However, ended up spending this year's Valentines Day alone agn. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I noe Im short, not typically slim with nice facial features or anything, but I noe I dun flirt around or stuff. But I just dun get why I always fail in this kind of r/s stuff. I made up a joke on me getting married and sent out wedding invitations to my exclassmates, just to have a laugh, and also to make myself feel good for once. But I guess I was just trying escape reality. Even ytd when it was Wanxuan's birthday, she's like one of my best friends ever, but I didn't do my best on the card for her. Im sry Wanxuan. I realised from last time till now, I always carry this phrase with me - I hate the feeling where I did my best, but nth good nor results appear. It's kinda true, I thought everything I did, with or without motives, I would have something in return. My exams, my studies, my friends, my life, whatever could be named. Quite a number of people said I had low confidence of myself or self-esteem. But it's not that I wanted that. If you had done ur best, yet it fails epically, wouldn't it be a waste and a shame? Optimistism is just a way of self-deceiving really. Face it, it's reality.
Not looking forward to next year's Valentines. I bet it's just gonna be yet another fking day.